I was born February 21st,1977 in Reno, Nevada at Wichita hospital. My Mom was only in labor for four hours with me because she said I wanted to get out. I was literally pushing my way out of her stomach. My Dad was a proud father. He was so happy that it was a girl. He went running up and down the halls of the maternity ward yelling in joy,"it's a girl, it's a girl".

The nurses were so taking by my fathers reaction and went into see my mother and told her you have a great husband. Throughout the first year of my childhood my Dad was their everyday. He would hold me and bath me and take good care of me. My Mom was so happy that my Dad was taking such a part in my life. In my brother's case my Dad wasn't really their for my mom or my brother. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that he was to young. When I was born my Mom was twenty-nine and my Dad was twenty-seven. My brother was born when my Dad was Twenty years old. Me and my brother are seven years apart. It is a big age difference and was hard for me and my brother while we were growing up. There wasn't that closeness between us until recently.

My Mom and my Dad split up when I was a year old. Their were to many difference's between my mom and my Dad. My Dad like to go out and party and My mom was more of the home body type. . I heard two different stories later on in my life from my Mom and my Dad. My mom said that she went out with her sister and came home early. She walked up to the window of the house and saw this woman half naked and my Dad only wearing his boxers. My mom yelled you bastard and went running back to my aunts car. My Dad came running out and said it's not what you think!. I asked my Dad a few years later what his version of the story was. He said he didn't cheat on your Mother. Then I had asked him how many woman he had been with throughout his life. He said probably a hundred. I was like oh my god. I always believed my mother's version of the story. She was really upset over that incident because she loved my father so dearly. I believe that he was the love of her life.

After the incident in 1978 my mom packed up and moved to Santa Cruz,CA to live with my Grandmother. This was very hard for her because she was a thirty year old woman living with her mother again. This is something my Mom did not want to do because she felt like a failure. All of her sister's met these great guys and married them. They lived in these beautiful homes and were admired by their husbands. My Mom was so hurt by this and it marked her for a long time after. My Mom got a job and saved enough money to move out on her own about a year after the move back to my grandmothers. Me and my Mom moved into this little apartment. I can't remember where it was because I was only two years old. Living in apartments became a routine throughout my life. I never got to live in a nice house and that marked my life with sadness the desperate need to fit in later on in my teenage years. It was really hard for my Mom because my Dad was not helping her out and she was barely making ends meet. I wasn't a big help either. I was always nagging on her and wanting attention. If I wasn't the center of attention I would throw a fit. With my Mom working hard everyday and a brat for a daughter it was really hard for my Mom.

Throughout my School years between first and sixth grade were though times for me. I didn't have a real great time in school because my Mom couldn't afford to buy me nice clothes. It seemed everyone else was wearing the name brands at the time, like Nike and L.A. gear. That was a big joke. The whole L.A. gear thing. Girls would come to school wearing the the L.A. gear outfits, the shorts, socks, pants, shoes...etc. I would be wearing Prowing shoes and Kmart clothes. My fellow classmates would be like nice shoes Bridget. I would go home and tell my Mom please can I have a pair of L.A. gear shoes because all of the other girls are wearing them. She would tell me Bridget you know we can't afford it right now. A few weeks later my Mom surprised me with an L.A. gear outfit. I went to school in my new clothes and thought I am finally fitting in. I was wrong, no one even noticed. They were like she is just trying to be like us. I finally relaxed that it wasn't the clothes it was me. I just wasn't popular material. I mean I did have friends,but it was just really hard. I mean most of my friends were either older then me or younger then me. It was like I was either born to late or to early. I look back and realize now what was I thinking. I probably have achieved a lot more then those mean kids in school. Deep down though all I wanted was to fit in. I wanted lots of friends and to have boys like me, but that wouldn't come until later,very later.

It was hard growing up. Living in Apartments my whole life and never being excepted by the in crowd. I look back now though and realize what it actually did for me,it made me learn about people and how they are and how the world can treat you. My life has changed dramatically and is still changing to this day, I am going to college. I have a nice car knock on wood. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot but in the past four years we are still learning about each other. I love him and he give's me love in return. I hope it lasts forever with him. He is my soul mate. I have friends and family that I care about and that care about me. This was an unsure thing while growing up for me because I thought the whole world hated me and at one point in my life I hated the world to. I learned and I am still learning today,but the one thing in life you have to know for sure is to love yourself. It took a long time for me to accomplish this. I now love myself and others.